Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Forgive me father, for I have sinned,
Find me guilty of the life i feel within.

For i have dared to take off the glasses of Faith, Hope and Love. And then I have dared to Gaze dark in to the abyss. And now the abyss is gazing dark in to me. I have tried to come out of the abyss, but it isn't helping. Because without my glasses, the world is a very sorry place. Right now, at this moment, i know why do we need God. And i see that why must Voltaire have said that we need to create one. Because man by its nature cannot live without hope. It cannot handle unpredictable end.

Thats why every movie is on the theme of good conquering the evil. Every story has to kill the villain in the end, or else no story can be written. Because stories are made by people who live to tell it. Stories are a way of telling what is desired by the society, of a man. Only those stories are chosen to tell which have hope. Which put people at ease. The stories that tell that everything is okay, or everything is going to be okay.

I have ventured too far on my quest. And now even when i want to believe that the world is full of good things for which a man should live for, i cannot believe it. Its like eating the blue pill in the matrix. I donot know if i will be the same again.

Right now, its 31st. tommorow it will be new year. But i donot feel the joy that millions of people feel around the world. Because i know that it will be another day, with the same sun and same moon. I still cannot figure out that why do people feel happy on their birthdays. Because i cannot feel that happiness. Because its again another day. Should i be happy that i lived to see it? That i could see so many suns rise and so many suns set.
And any one who doesn't think that way, i would just say, that you are lucky that you chose not to take off the glasses. And you chose hope. That only good things will happen. You chose to believe that people love you. You chose to believe in God. And you chose to lie to yourself, by not questioning your beliefs. Not any of them.

Because happiness is like myth. If you believe that there was Ram and sita. They were. No one can tell for sure, or else they wouldn't be called mythology, they will be called history. Similarly, if you think that you have happiness, you have it. No one can tell. But do you know how do we break a myth. We break a myth by questioning it. Myth breaks when Logic is applied to it.

So again i am off, and keep thinking. Below is the complete lyrics of the song "Thorn within" by Metallica.

Godspeed

Forgive me father
For I have sinned
Find me guilty of the life I feel within

When I'm branded
This mark of shame
Should I look down disgraced
Or straight ahead
And know that you must blame

I am, I am the secret
I am, I am the sin
I am, I am the guilty
And I, I am the thorn within

Forgive me father
For I have sinned
Find me guilty when true guilt is from within

So point your fingers
Point right at me
For I am shadows and will follow you
One and the same are we

I am, I am the secret
I am, I am the sin
I am, I am the guilty
And I, I am the thorn within

I do your time
I take your fall
I'm branded guilty
For us all

So point your fingers
Point right at me
For I am shadows and will follow you
One and the same are we

I am, I am your secrets
I am, I am your sin
I am, I am your guilty
And I, I am the thorn within
I am the thorn within