Narcissus and nietzche

there was a time when
He had time to look deep into the abyss
and the abyss used to gaze back at him
when narcissus was young
and love was full of possibilities
when he was immortal,
and the world was big,
when people were different,
and din't expect out of him

Its a myth that he was cursed
his mind was fairly intelligent
he could go long on a philosophical journey
and the chap was considered brilliant.

Once he went in to such a trance 
thinking on the way of the world,
trying to understand it, crack it
thoughts in the abyss twirled.

the thought turned upon himself
as he realized,
that how we see this world 
is just within our eyes
T'is just a reflection of a reflection
on the mirror of the mind,
which shows it through a hinted tint
if you hate it or are kind

poor chap got this thought
when he was having a drink
gazing at his image in the water
he began to think
It all starts with me,
It all ends here
Its me causing the ripples
The water is pretty clear
he kept trying to remove the stain
in which his mind colored the world

His persiverance knew no bounds
as time passed and his end was near.
then too he kept on working at it,
but he was hades' dear,
the God took him across the Styx
his sould trapped in a cage.
The abyss twirled undeciphered
getting deeper with rage

The people of old realized it
and tried to shun the thought
nothing good comes of introspection
was the message passed on

since then Narcissus, is known as is today
The poor man's misery 
never to happen again.
was locked in lies and drowned in deceit
so that no one should gain

Nietzsche stumbled on the thought
on his journey through
then his way was different
so the abyss still gazes back at you

superior no

A no is superior than a yes.
a yes multiplied by a no is no.

A zero multiplied by a one is zero,
but the same zero when dividing a one, makes it infinite.

there is a one, but in that one is a zero, added to it, multiplied to it, subtracted from it, but not divided from it.

it has been before one, it will be after one and all its multiples are gone
a zero is the grounded number,
whose existence lies in destruction of other numbers.
and even when other numbers live, zero hides in it, until they are destroyed.

you can't see a zero, you can't decimate a zero,
you can simply hide it,

a single zero is as strong as infinite zeros added subtracted or multiplied,
its strong when alone, as when its with its clones

but zero isn't completely zero, because it can create things which it is not.
it is a number but when divided by a zero, creates not a number, but something else.

every one uses it to describe the never ending cycle of karma.

where else is a number that suggests nothing, remains in everything, can create infinite or something that its not.

you can't cut a zero and make it two, you can't burn a zero, you can't dry a zero, you can't kill a zero
you can't wet a zero. and thats the truth. because zero is superior to a one. A no is superior to a yes


last i heard of these qualities, man's soul was being described.

"Nainam chhindanti shastraani, nainam dahati paavakah,
Na cha enam kledayanti aapah, na shoshayati maarutah".

Na=not, Enam=this (Soul or Self), Chhindanti=to cut,
Shastraani=by weapons, Na=not, Enam=this, Dahati=burns,
Paavakah=by fire, Na=not, Cha=and (even), Enam=this,
Kledayanti=wet, Aapah=(by) water, Na=not, Shoshayati=dries,
Marutah=air (wind).

'Enam' refers to the Soul within the body (the embodied soul).

Coincidence

Have you ever noticed that how much of your life is determined by coincidences?? You met that guy because of a coincidence, you got the job, because someone dropped out, moved on, or maybe you happened to read that news paper that you never picked.

 

Hell, there is an entire movie based on coincidences making its way to Oscars. Ever heard of "Slum dog Millionaire"?

 

I hate them. I really do. They always put the spanner in the plan, and unless the outcome comes, you are hanging there is mid air, thinking, whether it’s good or bad. And if Murphy knew what he was saying, then he has determined the outcome too.

The outcome can best be described as a three letter word....BAD.

Safe to say, where there will be a coincidence, and if there is an outcome that can be BAD, it most probably will be. Don’t believe on me? Blame Murphy.

 So if a thing can happen in a bad way, it most probably will. But coincidence has some good qualities too. All of us use these qualities.

To lie and to catch lies. Have you ever noticed that one thing that you utterly hated, HAPPENED, and has to be explained, relies heavily on coincidence?

If your friend didn’t reach on time, heavy traffic, if she was with someone, just bumped into him, If he got a hike, probably you sucked at the thing at the wrong time.

With a delicately woven multicolored fabric of Ignorance, Trust and coincidence, and promise [exactly in the same order] most bizarre explanations come up. Lifelines drawn, jobs saved, life extended.

Ever heard

“I didn’t know you hated it. Trust me. It was a coincidence. It won’t happen again.”

Explained.

If you have had the misfortune of hearing this, I know that was not the last time. You heard it again, in some different thing, the same pattern.

And now you must be thinking, OH! That’s why it seemed so odd. Well YEAH!!

Another example.

“I didn’t know you would take it this hard. Trust me, you are a good worker.I know your Hike was due, but recession Hit. we will try to make it up in the next Hike”

 

Some where bordering along the lines of politeness , and mistakes we have carved out a territory for coincidence.

I don’t want to lose the trust. I don’t want to lie. I am experienced enough that lies are rational explainations which cannot be substantiated. Lets lie in a way that god’s hand becomes involved.

No one can question GOD’s will, right?

But as easy as it may seem, Coincidence makes u take a substantial hit on your attributed reasoning powers.In other words, your intelligence.

In most of the cases, how do you know that your coincidence bait has been taken?

The dialogue goes like,

“ How did this happen??”

“Coincidence”

“What!!What were you thinking”[Implied, with foresight you could have seen the risk and avoided it. Deeply Implied….I AM CHEWING THE BAIT]

“reinforcing the coincidence”

“Okay”

The other Hit it gives you is in trustworthiness. Coincidence has taken you off the hook. But its like saying that you have used a legal loop hole and pivoted on the trust. The cheat code of the game has been invoked, and questioning the trust is a big step.

So most probably the prey will chew on the coincidence knowingly. May be even go ahead and try to break it with logic for some times invoking more trust based answers.

And both of you know it. And so the eye will follow you through the plains of ROHAN to the end of Middle Kingdom.

 Godspeed.

EAT, PRAY, LOVE

Recently watched "Bruce almighty" poorly remade in an Indian Movie called "God Tussi Great Ho"(god, you are great!!).

And as usual i started thinking about the differences between the two. The most salient being that in Bruce Almighty, God gives the guy all his powers, but he cannot use it to change a MAn's "free will". In other words Bruce cannot make some one love him. Because he has no power over Man's free will.

And this made me start on Man's free will.

Isn't everything that happens, or at least majority that happen's by man's free will?

Suppose i want my boss to give me a car, or a particular girl to love me, wouldn't that be on some one's free will?..it will be the Girl's Free will to love me or not.....My bosses free will to give me a car or not.....

So GOD can't infulence their decision in my favour. May be he can do things which are not in Man's will, like may be throw a stone on some one, or make a bridge on sea, but for everything in which a man is involved, his will is involved.

If such is the case, would any one's praying to GOD for a car or Love, matter?

Then what do u pray about..

That he doesn't drop a mountain on ur head, and let u live?  Or give you a car by conjuring it out of thin air?

But killing you is also against your will...unless you are suicidal, killing you is against your will to live.

So either we don't have free will to choose, or there's no use praying.

My mom used to say, you don't pray for yourself, but you pray for others, that may god give  others...

And i think, its the best way, when you are handing your will to GOD, so that he can go ahead and do anything he wants, wherever you fit in to the scheme of things.

Giving you two pills and asking you to choose between them, is not actually giving you a choice, if you can calculate all the series of events each will lead to, till you die. And why not,

lets try a theoritical experiment in a test tube.

I put a cockroach in a test tube. It cannot turn. The air in the test tube will last for 1 minute.

And then i do nothing. Just wait and watch.

If i say that i have given a choice to cockroach to move or not to move, will i be wrong? I don't think so.

Can i calculate all the paths that a cockroach can take in one minute. Yes i can.

Given a  time frame of one minute, and a chance of starting or stopping, can i calculate all the things that it can do in the tube. Yes, I can.

So whatever the cockroach does, can be known? Yes it can be known.

Can it be predicted, No, it cannot be predicted, if you are just watching the situation. But it can be known.

In other words, all the possible outcomes in a sitation can be known given enough computing power, but they cannot be predicted, the sequence, that what will happen when.

And suppose, you use the same equation on GOD, and Man,

Yes God can see all the moves you can have , but he cannot predict it, as he dosen't have control over your free will, and neither can he read your will.

Or he would have known that CAIN will kill ABLE. That people will make mistakes.

I have a semblene of though here....but i am losing the thread...as i am sitting in the office and writing this along with the rest of my work. But i think i have something here, that needs to be revisited.

 

Then how is he omnipotent and omnipresent?

memoirs

Was reading about steve martin writing a memoir in the newspaper. he said a very intersting thing.

"people write memoir to tell a story, and people read memoir to find their own story in it."



how true...........

tu zinda hai

tu zinda hai tu zindagi ki jeet par yakeen kar,
agar kahin hai swarg toh uutaar laa zameen par,

hazaar bhes dhar key aayi, maut tere dwaar par,
magar tujhey na paa saki, chali gayi woh haar kar,

kabhi toh hogi iis chaman pey bhi bahaar ki nazar,
agar kahin hai swarg toh uutaar laa zameen par,

yeh gham key aur chaar din, sitam key aur chaar din,
yeh din bhi jayenge guzar, guzar gaye hazaar din,

kabhi toh hogi iis chaman pey bhi bahaar ki nazar,
agar kahin hai swarg toh uutaar laa zameen par,

Carrot, Egg or Coffee Bean? - A good thought

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: DADDY &
Date: Jul 30, 2007 1:17 PM
Subject: Fw: Carrot, Egg or Coffee Bean? - A good thought
To: ME


A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and
how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to
make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling.
It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire Soon the pots came to boil. In the
first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the
last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without
saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished
the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.
She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning
to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.
She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the
daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she
observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The
daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked,
"What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the
same adversity: boiling water. Each
reacted differently. The carrot
went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected
to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been
fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but
after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the
boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks
on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee
bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but
with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with
the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a
financial h ardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and
stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and
tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot
water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets
hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean,
when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation
around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their
greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle
adversity?
Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Re: 2006 best Pictures

dear daddy ji,
the quote was not mine...it was from the guy who is one of my good friends in the industry as well as the regional manager of harper Collins west. his name is sameer , and he is one of the few guys whom i have called from here also.

In fact what you said about the changing time is so true that i just read out your letter aloud to two of my colleagues(the only two in the room right now)......in spite of the thing that one of them wants to kill me(jokingly) ...and the other is an Egyptian who will not say "parent" but "barent"...apparently the great people who invented Arabic forgot to put the sound called "p" in the language...or its may be Egyptians who are trying to hit back America by learning the language and then killing the pronunciation....

but they also loved it....
I am happy that aapka project is now on ur feet.......i hope it brings lot of good things...

one more thing...is it just you who remembers that MD used to sit and crack jokes or he also remembers...i mean i was just checking that with chnge in time...i might not change...but does the memory remain?...he he he....

love
satyarth
ps: i am going to put this letter conversation on my blog.

On 5/30/07, PKPandey < pkpandey@sail-bhilaisteel.com> wrote:

Dear Sonal

Thanks for sending good collection of pictures,one of hummer and other of Himalaya.

hope you are perfectly in shape, internally as well as externally.So keep in regular touch through any of several means of communication.

We got our Project ERP-MES Centre inaugurated by our MD Shri R .Ramaraju.Once upon a time ,he was my HOD and AGM I/c, SMS-II and in my second shift, he use to sit in our shift room of converter shop for hrs. and he use to crack jokes veg. as well as non-veg.

so, this is how,when time changes ,it changes every thing related to him ,except himself .This is he or she who start changing him/herself and no body else.

Your quotation regarding dream was also lovely.I wrote it on my room's white board.

So, keep on writing and sending/forwarding mails.

Daddy

Claim ur blog.Claim ur life

I m here to blog.Here is my first post.
Satyarth

--
-------------------------My Blog?----------------------------

http://thematrixian.blogspot.com

---------For Things in a Crazy perspective----------

......and i am afraid

I picked and then i chose,
the future seemed close
faliure was a distant song
success were french whispers
both equally faint,
but one within reach
and the other far away
the whisper was weak,
and the song was strong
Like a banshee's wail,
i had been there once,
lived for quite some time
but now both the voices
are getting louder
and i am afraid

raat yun

Raat yuun dil mey teri khoyii huyi yaad aayi
jaisey veeraney mey chhupkey sey bahaar aa jaaye
jaisey sehraaon mey hauley sey chale baad-e-naseem
jaisey biimaar ko bewajah karaar aa jaye

I am the light

We are all puppets...But I am the puppet who can see the strings...

Confined in the dark, narrow cage of our own making which we take for the whole universe, very few of us can even begin to imagine another dimension of reality.


you have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there’s some point to all this struggling. It’s all a joke. Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for . . . it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? Why can't you laugh...

How does it matter whether you made the million or not? Go ahead if you r the next bill gates..but ask urself..do you really think so!!! he he he...and if not, how does it matter that in a thousand kilometer race whether you die after covering a centimeter or a kilometer? Did you raise the limits of the race? did you make it a hundred thousand kilometer race? Will you make it?

Or will you do as millions of losers on this planet do? May be you never wanted this race...May be you could have been first in some other race...did you try? Did you take the path you wanted or the one that was easy...or may be that every one was walking on..he he he...are you a software engineer? or an MBA or something every third person is?

Who are you?What are you?Do you want to be cool or may be hot?How many times did u change ur act to be accepted?Do you know our national anthem?Is attack the best defence? Is there strength in numbers? Is a pack of dogs powerful than a Lion?


How do you manage ur Conscience? Are you ashamed of yourself?What did you do? Are you weak?Are you strong?Or are you plain simple Manipulative?Is Life easy, or is it tough?

Do you whip out ur mobile the moment you feel concious? Do you hide in shadows and watch others may be from the corner of ur eyes? Do you hide your jealousy in a smile?Can you live without talking? What do you say when you talk to yourself?

Does ur conscience make you miserable?Do you feel miserable?Do you think you can never stop never b better?Do u think the die has been cast?Have you stopped caring?

Are difficult questions stupid? Can you lie to yourself?

Is this whole thing sick? then why do you read?Why don't you quit?Can you quit... the path you have chosen?Given a chance would you change your past?your path is the easy one..isn't it?What are you afraid of?Who are you afraid of? What are your worst fears?


Do you understand what am i saying? Where am i coming from? Do you know what am i talking about?

Do YOU?

I KNOW YOU DO...EVERY ONE DOES..

ha ha ha...do you see the funny side? NOW?

YOU KNOW ME NOW...You Have Always Known ME....Always, I have been there with you...inside you..Listen to me..I AM THE LIGHT..THE LIGHT OF TRUTH...Satyarth

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The road of Normalcy is actually as thin as a razor's edge compared to vast plains. The chances of any one getting off the road is pretty easy.
The road to drive has been defined, but the definition keeps on changing. Today some one like marilyn manson can exist and be followed(http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001504/)...while only few years ago he would have been shunned in an asylum. Who wants to be sane?...I am here to live a life and live on my own terms. Even if i am crazy and am happy, does it matter what people say of me? What does a normal man have? I think that in today's world, something that is being considered as ambition must have been insanity in some century. Shrinks have just studied what exists and classified it for academic purposes. People like john nash...Howard Hughes(The Aviator) ahve made it big with all the disabilities. On the other hand Society made their lives miserable by branding them as mentally unstable. I think a person shouldnot be judged on his sanity but what he took from the society and what he contributed to it. On this scale, many normal people are wanting. But yeah, the supreme thing still should be Live and Let live. If that isn't being followed, then definitely the man should be shunned. Because he is taking away much much more than he is giving back. BTW, donot worry, as one of my favourate movie still is "As good as it gets". and as The Joker in the batman series says, for some people "Madness Is the emergency exit"(the above was written as a comment on devil's blog

A Tryst with destiny

Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long supressed, finds utterance. It is fitting that at this solemn moment we take the pledge of dedication to the service of Inida and her people and to the still larger cause of humanity.

At the dawn of history India started on her unending quest, and trackless centuries are filled with her striving and the grandeur of her success and her failures. Through good and ill fortune alike she has never lost sight of that quest or forgotten the ideals which gave her strength. We end today a period of ill fortune and India discovers herself again. The achievement we celebrate today is but a step, an opening of opportunity, to the greater triumphs and achievements that await us. Are we brave enough and wise enough to grasp this opportunity and accept the challenge of the future?

Freedom and power bring responsibility. The responsibility rests upon this Assembly, a sovereign body representing the sovereign people of India. Before the birth of freedom we have endured all the pains of labour and our hearts are heavy with the memory of this sorrow. Some of those pains continue even now. Nevertheless, the past is over and it is the future that beckons to us now.

That future is not one of ease or resting but of incessant striving so that we may fulfil the pledges we have so often taken and the one we shall take today. The service of India means the service of the millions who suffer. It means the ending of poverty and ignorance and disease and inequality of opportunity. The ambition of the greatest man of our generation has been to wipe every tear from every eye. That may be beyond us, but as long as there are tears and suffering, so long our work will not be over.

And so we have to labour and to work, and work hard, to give reality to our dreams. Those dreams are for India, but they are also for the world, for all the nations and peoples are too closely knit together today for any one of them to imagine that it can live apart Peace has been said to be indivisible; so is freedom, so is prosperity now, and so also is disaster in this One World that can no longer be split into isolated fragments.

To the people of India, whose representatives we are, we make an appeal to join us with faith and confidence in this great adventure. This is no time for petty and destructive criticism, no time for ill-will or blaming others. We have to build the noble mansion of free India where all her children may dwell.

II

The appointed day has come-the day appointed by destiny-and India stands forth again, after long slumber and struggle, awake, vital, free and independent. The past clings on to us still in some measure and we have to do much before we redeem the pledges we have so often taken. Yet the turning-point is past, and history begins anew for us, the history which we shall live and act and others will write about.

It is a fateful moment for us in India, for all Asia and for the world. A new star rises, the star of freedom in the East, a new hope comes into being, a vision long cherished materializes. May the star never set and that hope never be betrayed!

We rejoice in that freedom, even though clouds surround us, and many of our people are sorrowstricken and difficult problems encompass us. But freedom brings responsibilities and burdens and we have to face them in the spirit of a free and disciplined people.

On this day our first thoughts go to the architect of this freedom, the Father of our Nation [Gandhi], who, embodying the old spirit of India, held aloft the torch of freedom and lighted up the darkness that surrounded us. We have often been unworthy followers of his and have strayed from his message, but not only we but succeeding generations will remember this message and bear the imprint in their hearts of this great son of India, magnificent in his faith and strength and courage and humility. We shall never allow that torch of freedom to be blown out, however high the wind or stormy the tempest.

Our next thoughts must be of the unknown volunteers and soldiers of freedom who, without praise or reward, have served India even unto death.

We think also of our brothers and sisters who have been cut off from us by political boundaries and who unhappily cannot share at present in the freedom

that has come. They are of us and will remain of us whatever may happen, and we shall be sharers in their good [or] ill fortune alike.

The future beckons to us. Whither do we go and what shall be our endeavour? To bring freedom and opportunity to the common man, to the peasants and workers of India; to fight and end poverty and ignorance and disease; to build up a prosperous, democratic and progressive nation, and to create social, economic and political institutions which will ensure justice and fullness of life to every man and woman.

We have hard work ahead. There is no resting for any one of us till we redeem our pledge in full, till we make all the people of India what destiny intended them to be. We are citizens of a great country on the verge of bold advance, and we have to live up to that high standard. All of us, to whatever religion we may belong, are equally the children of India with equal rights, privileges and obligations. We cannot encourage communalism or narrow-mindedness, for no nation can be great whose people are narrow in thought or in action.

To the nations and peoples of the world we send greetings and pledge ourselves to cooperate with them in furthering peace, freedom and democracy.

And to India, our much-loved motherland, the ancient, the eternal and the ever-new, we pay our reverent homage and we bind ourselves afresh to her service.

JAI HIND.

The Joker

Well i don't know why, but i have fallen in love with the painting. Yeah, its a painitng, in a very modern sense. Michaelangelo had his colors and brush, and modern painters have their computers. After all something must change.

The image here has been modified from a wall paper by Alex Ross, may be the most expensive artist in the american comic world. He has brought realism to fantasy, and this image of Joker with Harley quinn is the longest lasting wallpaper on my computer.
Just notice the realism. the expression on his face, the way he holds Harleyquinn as if it were a guitar. Yeah seriously, his fingers are made as if he were holding a guitar. And the Smile...its a killer.

Any one to give me the author of the text on the wall paper and the source?? NO...its not from Bible(as most mistakenly think)
Godspeed

More of Ross's wallpapers here
More on Alex Ross here

In Support of Spam

My gmail shows 399 spam mails. And i don't hate spam...i go through the text and they tell me so much. People try to block spam by algorithms that looks for certain words and a lot other things, but still the spams do reach me. Speaks a lot about human mind doesn't it?

If i am not wrong then spam filtering was started by a chap called Paul Graham and in his landmark essay(http://www.paulgraham.com/spam.html) he outlined the first way to encounter spam. Incidently the first spam was by some law firm if i am not mistaken.

Well as i was saying...if you are a marketing student, then you should read spam mails. because a spammer is basically a person who is trying to sell you something when some body is trying to stop him from doing so. The mails in my spam box are all losers. they couldn't beat the system or the filter. But still there are a few who slip though the system when so many couldn't. this will tell you a lot about marketing. How is the mail targetted at you? the spammer isn't just relying on statistics that if suppose my mail reaches to 500 people then i get a sales of 3 bottles. he is also trying to put in some lucrative offer, and working with the words. Just look at how hard they try to imitate ur normal mail. all their objective is that you will be baffled and end up opening the mail. Then they also have to take care that once you have opened the mail, you don't just discard it coz its spam....so look at the magnitude.
The only respite being that the advertising(yeah i consider Spam as a form of unwanted advertising mailer) is dirt cheap and virtually free.
Being in love with advertising, i am a student of the written word and its effect. And believe it or not, i read even the worse ads that why was it wrong and why was it right. why did i open he mail even if it was spam. And thats a great lesson for aspiring copy writers and admen.

I don't see any indian companies trying to spam me. may be they are letting go of a medium. I guess every indian must have seen some or the other form of advertising in public toilets.Some cheap posters of some"dr shah" is seen... and read as the audience is captive. so even if every one hates it, they do read it once. The job is done. So all you Indian companies out there, start spamming

me......

Tum mujey na dogey jeeney

One of may fav songs from the movie 'teen deviyaan'. Deva nand is singing in a mushayara thats being broadcast live on radio.

Kahin be-khayal ho kar yuun hii chuu liyaa kisii ney
Kayi khwaab dekh daaley, yahan meri bekhudi ney

Hai bhala saa naam uuskaa, main abhi sey kyaa bataoon,
Kiyaa bekaraar aksar, mujhey ek aadmi ney

Arey mujh pey naaz waalon, yeh niyaazmandiyaan kyuun
Hai yehi karam tumhaaraa, tum mujhey naa dogey jeeney
-------------
bekhayal:- unintentional
niyaaz- offerings

Bangle è Bello

I have never liked mumbai girls in Particular. I always use to feel that the girls here are different, but I never knew why. Same was the case in MICA.
I was in a class with 9 girls, but never liked them either. There is something different about them, and I had never been able to put my finger on it. Even in my office
Where I have to work next to them, something has been different.
I just went out for a cup of tea, and when I was coming back I saw a couple disembark in the Parking lot of a nearby call centre. And I don’t know after how long I heard a sound that’s sooooooo Indian, and so feminine. A sound that I couldn’t hear in the quite of MICA neither the cacophony of bombay. It was a sweet peal. Just a faint sound made by glass bangles on the girl’s right hand. Something like that that is so normal and everyday, that when its not there, you don't notice it.
And as if one small voice, a faint peal, explained it all. It was music. I smiled. Life is really beautiful. La vita è bella.Bangle is beautiful. Il Bangelo è bello.

The Punching Bag

The month Starts. And like all Newly employed people, Its time to be king for next 5 days atleast. This is the time when all those dreams that you had seen as a kid have a chance to materialize.

Every middle class kid i think has gone through the phase. When he has tried to put his finger on something really unwanted and has been dutifully told by his parents that "grow up, get a job and you can have that". The problem is most of the kids forget. As they get the sense to earn, they also get some sense on how to spend.But there were two kids who remembered an item on their huge shopping list that was stashed some where in the corner of their minds. Its really hard to remember such a thing, or to have guts to spend your hard earned money on such avenues when there are more noteworthy and grown up things to buy. The item in consideration was a Punching Bag. The wish had been so long buried that there were tonnes of memories on it, and nothing could have dug them out except one night at a place called "The Sports Bar".

The day had been rough on one of the kids. His boss had been pretty particular that day and the day had been spent on the receiving end.So in the evening when an opportunity presented itself in the form of a punching bag, he couldn't resist and vented all his fury and anger on the Bag. The feeling was nothing short of being ecstasic, and the usefullness of the Bag was noted in the Adult mind. The memories were dug out in a night of nursing the sore arms.

Sprinkle this with a night spent watching RockyI to IV, and the Punching Bag became something that was impossible to live without. Now the question remained that how to convince the other kid? This was pretty hard to do. But when the utility of the Bag as an aesthetic tool hanging from the drawing room ceiling in a all guys flat was introduced, the going became easy. Besides the usefullness of the bag in health building context really made the day. After exchanging points and counterpoints the kids sealed the deal on spit, and the Bag was as good as in.

What was left to be seen was When, How and How much. So after pondering, juggling calendars a sunday was fixed, when both of them would go to some shop which was found after calling some knowledgable friends.

The sunday came and the kids took an auto. After much sightseeing in the traditional mumbai auto the reached the shop on the main road in Andheri. Since along with the Bag some weights were also to be bought first the focus was on the wieghts. But it looked like the weights which had to be bought were not much of an addition to the shop's visual merchandising, and therefore the bloke had hidden it away in a "warehouse" on the other side of the main road. Any one who has been to mumbai will definitely agree that crossing a main road is something that is not to be taken lightely.
And this was really a main road, with proper concrete dividers. As if this was not enough, the muncipallty people had strung barbed wires on wooden poles. Any one capable of effortlessly crossing the road here could as well have been shipped off to fight the pakis.
But the requriement was grave and what has to be done has to be done. So some how the road was crossed, with few drivers muttering obscenities and a hint or two of raised middle fingers.But hey, who cares, and in doing important things one must not care what people say.
The warehouse turned out to be a small garage kind of shed with heavy locks and bolts that would even keep the air out, let alone a thief. The kids waited outside the door with curiosity, because if something is that well protected, it must indeed be worth seeing. The heavy small doors opened after the sales boy put in his weight on the handles, and a small room filled with dusty wrecked tables with all sorts of junk was revealed. Weights were checked out and then piled up. But some of the enthusiasm had returned in the kids as they picked the weights and turned to cross the road.
The crossing this time was uneventful, as rarely do people with glass windshields throw obscene gestures with three guys walking with dumb bels and all. So the cars on the roads slowed down with grace allowing the guys to cross.

Now was the turn to see the punching bag. The sales person disappeared into the side door and came out with the bag. The bag which was worth all the wait since the childhood days and which was worht every effort put in the moment that led to here. All the effort that went in to crossing the road which seemed like indo-pak border in the west was going to be rewarded. The bad came out of the plastic sheet and the kids' faces fell. It was a canvas bag of just 2 feet height. That looked pretty small. Now who buys such a bag?? Their wishes might have been kiddish, but they were not. And it was THE PUNCHING BAG. The BAG which was to add some dignity to their apartment. Which was supposed to complement their soon to be tough bodies and the weights that were going to be displayed alongside.

The kid let out a tired breath. All the effort had been wasted. Now they will have to start the process again. They will have to look for more sports shops. This one itself had been hard to find. BUt the other kid didn't let it go that easily."Do you have any other bag?" he asked. The owner came out with a real cool 3 feet long leather bag. But the price Tag blew out the wind. 4000 bucks. Now this leather bag was really cool and all was agreed. But at 4000 bucks the dream was turning out to be on the expensive side. And after all the bag was not some trendy samsonite college bag or something of that sorts. It was just a punching bag, Isn't it. Besides the kid who had been neglecting his hunger in all this exitement was feeling the pangs at double the intensity.

The mood was sour. They had spent some one and a half hour. The kid was hungry and they didn't have 4k to spend on some damn leather bag. The owner suggested the solution. A canvas bag in larger size and lower price filled with sawdust could be arranged, but on the next day. What could be done. The other kid handed over his card for the weights they had bought. The shop owner's bald father took over from there.

The kid was feeling really pissed. They had spent too much time, and he was really hungry. The patience meter was going down. Besides the hawk eyed father was working even slower. Even a fly entering the shop seemed to distract his attention, and then, the card swipe machine just did it. The card refused to be acknowledged. The machine showed transaction error.
The kid asked the hawk to hurry. And the hawk instead of hurrying, just snapped its beak at the kid. The kid was getting furious by the minute, and the hawk was just working as slowly as he could. And the moment the hawk in his defiant tome said "behave like a kid if you want to be loved or else" the damage was done. The kid noted it down in his small mental diary.

With furiously pissed mood he came out of the shop carrying the weights they had bought. The other kid meanwhile had paid and was carrying the other set of weights. The shopkeeper had promissed to keep the Punching bag ready the next evening, but the hawk had done the damage. The kid just wanted to get back at him. He was really sore.

Two days went by, and it was tuesday evening before they could again think of going that way. Again after a circutious route which was different from the one previous auto had taken, they reached the shop. But this time there seemed to be a few people inside the small shop and it looked crowded.

After some waiting the shopkeeper brought out the punching bag. The scene resembled very much like the movie scenes where the boy and his parents visit the bride's house to approve her. Both the kids were busy in the shop, looking at things, trying to get interested in something, while anxious at the same time. The shop keeper brings the bag out. They both turn, and there is the bag in front of them, just lying there. The decision to buy it was instantly taken. But the bag seemed to be a bit less filled. So it was agreed upon that the kids will take the bag while the extra sawdust will be delivered to their home. The bag was put near the door.
But you can't just rain blows on a canvas bags. You need gloves too. As the bag's price was within a grand, some money could definitely be utilized in that. The boxing gloves incidently were from a company called Hawk and were priced at 700 rupees. Just think of that, you need to spend as much on the gloves as you need to spend on the Bag. Now spending on the bag was Okay. The Bag had significance, but here gloves were just extra expenses which hadn't been previously accounted for. But still, here a wish was at stake.Had the reason been something else, the gloves could have been left behind. But who tries to save money when a wish is being fulfilled and you can pay for it, you have the money and you can pay for it.The greater cause has to be achieved. Dreams were t stake here and So they were taken.
Suddenly the crowd seemed to have increased a bit. The shopkeeper went on to bill the kids, while the hawk father was busy looking at something, while the rest of the sales people were trying to make sale to customers.
The shopkeeper came out with the bill of 1400rs, which was paid for.

The other kid realized the mistake."Hey dude, he hasn't billed us for the Punching Bag." he said. The kid just thought that may be he isn't delivering the bag today and will be delivering the bag with the sawdust at their house the next day. After all they had spent three grand at the shop, and so a door delivery was something that the shop could definetly do.
But it didn't make sense. The hawk would definitely have billed the bag before sending it. As shrewd as he seemed, he would definitely be the one who would secure his investment.

So the other possibility kicked in. That simply meant that he had forgotten to bill them the only thing for which they were there. He had done the collateral damage to their pockets by the gloves and accessories, but the real damage had been spared. He had simply forgotten. But the kid realized that he might be wrong and so it had to be checked out. The Bag was waiting for them near the door, neatly propped. Everything had been packed and no one was paying attention. But still if the owner remembered at the exact time, there would be problem.

The other kid opened the glass door, not sure whether to take the bag or not. The kid followed him. And as happens in all the stories with happy ending, the good beat the evil. Just as happens and has been said in the movie "harold and kumar go to whitecastle", If something has to happen,The whole universe conspires to make it happen.

As the kids were about to move out, one lady started demanding things in her high pitch voice commanding the hawk's attention.A young and enthusiastic shop helper, bred on the idea that customer is the king, and not the thief stepped in to help them.Without saying a word, he promptly lifted the Punching bag on his able shoulders and followed the kids out of the door.

On the same main road the kid took the bag on his own shoulders, somehow suppresing his smile in front of the shop help who turned back after some distance. The other kid by that time had an ear to ear smile. The long awaited punching bag was on their shoulders, their feet were moving as fast as they could. No one could tell if they were running, or leaping or plain simply floating. But all that could be told is that they crossed the road without even feeling it in to the waiting auto.

The Punching bag is still hanging from the ceiling in our drawing room. Rahul still has an ear to ear smile, and no we don't intend to pay.