I here by agree to give an individual woman a singular status not on the basis of what she desires or expects but on the basis of what she works towards through her speech, belief, action and behaviour, at all times. The judgment will be my own based on my personal experience, knowledge and understanding of the social norms and will be comprehensive and static as the same is forwarded towards me at all times by individuals concerned. The judgment so derived will be my private property, without any rights to change it extended to any individual, and it shall be understood that any such judgment having been derived is to aid me in my understanding of the workings of this world as well as help me in my decision making.
For the layman: if you want me to think of you as something you want, then action speak louder than words, so work towards it on all times. Because I don't have time to spend on you to try to understand you and believe in how good a person you are. Every one thinks he is a good person. And we all know that world has a lot of bad people. So something must be wrong some where. Plus always take the fact in to consideration that I haven't been awarded the luxury. People form opinions about me on what they hear, so I can also form an opinion about you on what I hear, and its perfectly fair. If you act and dress and walk like a whore, I will definitely think of you as a whore, even if you are a "beautiful person on the inside" or even if you are a "very good human being" whatever they are and wherever they exist.
If thou dress to be desired, thou shalt be desired,
If thou dress to be loved, thou shalt be loved,
If thou dress to be respected, thou shalt be respected
If you show, I will watch.
And I know that this will hold good, because I do not think of Madonna the way I think of Mother Teresa. So if you want the respect that Mother Teresa enjoys, then you will have to work equally hard. You can't have it all. You have to lose something to gain something. So its you who has to decide what's more important, you freedom to act and dress as you want, or that respect that society will give you. Because I would also like to be respected like Gandhi, but if I keep on behaving like a Casanova then that can't happen can it??
I am just wasting space here. Because I know that every girl knows this. How many girls go in to temple with low waist jeans and short skimpy tops??...Few... How many girls go to a college with the same dress??...Many.... So its pretty obvious...Isn't it?
So if you are labeled by people as "easy to bag", even when you are not(or you think you are not), then there must be some thing there..Isn't it....Well there is something called the wisdom of the crowds. In the book James Suroweicki mentions that how in a village fair when people were asked to guess the approx weight of a cattle, the average guess was exact while the expert guesses were way off the mark. Now this is not to be confused with "mob mentality" in which the whole groups effort is equal to the best mans effort.
And then we have been told in Blink too, haven't we?? That in 15 seconds a class could tell that what a teacher is....Just 15 seconds.....
So the crux is that if people are thinking of you in an undesired manner, or if people are calling you something.....They have a huge probability of being right and so you need some introspection. That is if you care about what they think of you, and you want it to be equal to what you want them to think of you. Now I am afraid, that people are usually right when we are talking about something that is pretty common and basic and doesn't need expert knowledge to analyze, something like behavior.
Because people often do go wrong. They will call you names, but prefer it to be because of your work and not your character and personality.
Suppose M.F. Hussain had been making these kind of paintings from the time he was 24. What would his classmates say of him?? What would his teachers say of him??? And his parents??
Had he heard and listened to people, or his peers, his class mates then could he ever have made a painting worth 3 crores? Would these people have allowed him to walk the same path? Are they allowing him to go on his path even now?
I am in no way saying that he is great or I like him or anything, I am just here to prove a point. His paintings are considered weird by people. But he never cared and is rich. Similarly if today people call me names should I change my thinking? Definitely not. Because my thinking is so far off from other people's that as if "its crazy enough to be really good". Had it been a little off mark, I could have even tried and changed it, but because its so different, that may be I should keep it for the sake of diversity in the world. Because my kind of thinking is really " endangered Species". Mind you, I am not saying that my thinking is that of Newton or some one, but all I am saying is that its different. And I can even cite examples. Almost always, I am left in the crowd fighting a point of view which is supported by rest.
Yesterday me and Rahul started talking on whether pornography is good or bad, and all of a sudden I found myself trying to convince 4 people at the same time that how pornography is the advertisement and prostitution is the product. They wouldn't buy the argument. They held on to their thought that pornography and prostitution ought to be legalized in India. That concerns me. Because if all start thinking like that, then tomorrow it may become legal. And what concerns me is not just their view point on these, but many other things. Including views about "what is Indian Culture".
Their views were not so irrational, just under thought and under studied. What they have been so dearly holding on to are beliefs that come on the first step of the thinking ladder. A child can not have "consumerism" or "carcinogen" as his first word but will may be say "mom" or "dad" . Similarly what they are thinking is the "mum" and "dad" level, while they are thinking that they are at some other level.
I also was at that level some years ago and used to think as they do, but it takes thinking and reading to locate the flaw of the argument and then you reach at a different level. But they were laughing at me, without even knowing what was I talking about. The biggest problem was that I could perfectly understand why they were saying what ever they were saying, hell, I also used to think the same. But it was after reading and thinking, that I moved away. Because their argument was something that comes naturally. And obviouly they couldn't make sense out why was I saying what I was saying, because they need to work before they reach at this level of argument.
So that's al for now, I will come back later on to write more on feminism and chauvinism and where we are going wrong. The level will not be great, but I am still evolving
Godspeed
For the layman: if you want me to think of you as something you want, then action speak louder than words, so work towards it on all times. Because I don't have time to spend on you to try to understand you and believe in how good a person you are. Every one thinks he is a good person. And we all know that world has a lot of bad people. So something must be wrong some where. Plus always take the fact in to consideration that I haven't been awarded the luxury. People form opinions about me on what they hear, so I can also form an opinion about you on what I hear, and its perfectly fair. If you act and dress and walk like a whore, I will definitely think of you as a whore, even if you are a "beautiful person on the inside" or even if you are a "very good human being" whatever they are and wherever they exist.
If thou dress to be desired, thou shalt be desired,
If thou dress to be loved, thou shalt be loved,
If thou dress to be respected, thou shalt be respected
If you show, I will watch.
And I know that this will hold good, because I do not think of Madonna the way I think of Mother Teresa. So if you want the respect that Mother Teresa enjoys, then you will have to work equally hard. You can't have it all. You have to lose something to gain something. So its you who has to decide what's more important, you freedom to act and dress as you want, or that respect that society will give you. Because I would also like to be respected like Gandhi, but if I keep on behaving like a Casanova then that can't happen can it??
I am just wasting space here. Because I know that every girl knows this. How many girls go in to temple with low waist jeans and short skimpy tops??...Few... How many girls go to a college with the same dress??...Many.... So its pretty obvious...Isn't it?
So if you are labeled by people as "easy to bag", even when you are not(or you think you are not), then there must be some thing there..Isn't it....Well there is something called the wisdom of the crowds. In the book James Suroweicki mentions that how in a village fair when people were asked to guess the approx weight of a cattle, the average guess was exact while the expert guesses were way off the mark. Now this is not to be confused with "mob mentality" in which the whole groups effort is equal to the best mans effort.
And then we have been told in Blink too, haven't we?? That in 15 seconds a class could tell that what a teacher is....Just 15 seconds.....
So the crux is that if people are thinking of you in an undesired manner, or if people are calling you something.....They have a huge probability of being right and so you need some introspection. That is if you care about what they think of you, and you want it to be equal to what you want them to think of you. Now I am afraid, that people are usually right when we are talking about something that is pretty common and basic and doesn't need expert knowledge to analyze, something like behavior.
Because people often do go wrong. They will call you names, but prefer it to be because of your work and not your character and personality.
Suppose M.F. Hussain had been making these kind of paintings from the time he was 24. What would his classmates say of him?? What would his teachers say of him??? And his parents??
Had he heard and listened to people, or his peers, his class mates then could he ever have made a painting worth 3 crores? Would these people have allowed him to walk the same path? Are they allowing him to go on his path even now?
I am in no way saying that he is great or I like him or anything, I am just here to prove a point. His paintings are considered weird by people. But he never cared and is rich. Similarly if today people call me names should I change my thinking? Definitely not. Because my thinking is so far off from other people's that as if "its crazy enough to be really good". Had it been a little off mark, I could have even tried and changed it, but because its so different, that may be I should keep it for the sake of diversity in the world. Because my kind of thinking is really " endangered Species". Mind you, I am not saying that my thinking is that of Newton or some one, but all I am saying is that its different. And I can even cite examples. Almost always, I am left in the crowd fighting a point of view which is supported by rest.
Yesterday me and Rahul started talking on whether pornography is good or bad, and all of a sudden I found myself trying to convince 4 people at the same time that how pornography is the advertisement and prostitution is the product. They wouldn't buy the argument. They held on to their thought that pornography and prostitution ought to be legalized in India. That concerns me. Because if all start thinking like that, then tomorrow it may become legal. And what concerns me is not just their view point on these, but many other things. Including views about "what is Indian Culture".
Their views were not so irrational, just under thought and under studied. What they have been so dearly holding on to are beliefs that come on the first step of the thinking ladder. A child can not have "consumerism" or "carcinogen" as his first word but will may be say "mom" or "dad" . Similarly what they are thinking is the "mum" and "dad" level, while they are thinking that they are at some other level.
I also was at that level some years ago and used to think as they do, but it takes thinking and reading to locate the flaw of the argument and then you reach at a different level. But they were laughing at me, without even knowing what was I talking about. The biggest problem was that I could perfectly understand why they were saying what ever they were saying, hell, I also used to think the same. But it was after reading and thinking, that I moved away. Because their argument was something that comes naturally. And obviouly they couldn't make sense out why was I saying what I was saying, because they need to work before they reach at this level of argument.
So that's al for now, I will come back later on to write more on feminism and chauvinism and where we are going wrong. The level will not be great, but I am still evolving
Godspeed
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