After a long time, i come back to the page. To spill out the accumulated venom, that makes my life dark and this page black. It has been a long time, really long since i came out. There were many reasons, there were friends who sucked it out, or the venom was slow and got digested. But right now none of them happened and so again back to the blog.
things have been happening i ways that i wouldnot want them to happen. So i have been quite for some time, trying to solve the problem and musing over them. Few of the people acted smart and got blasted. So that became " i am taking out frustration on them".
I love the way the word play goes around in the world. when you are angry, it becomes frustration...
I have been told that i am frustrated....so went to dictionary.com and looked up that how would frustrate be defined?? and it was
things have been happening i ways that i wouldnot want them to happen. So i have been quite for some time, trying to solve the problem and musing over them. Few of the people acted smart and got blasted. So that became " i am taking out frustration on them".
I love the way the word play goes around in the world. when you are angry, it becomes frustration...
I have been told that i am frustrated....so went to dictionary.com and looked up that how would frustrate be defined?? and it was
- To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire; thwart: A persistent wind frustrated my attempt to rake the lawn.
- To cause feelings of discouragement or bafflement in.
- To make ineffectual or invalid; nullify.
And i was happy. I remembered the semiotics class. How barbarian which came out from greek word that means "who doesn't speak greek", to savage which comes from a word that means "forest dwellers", have come to mean something so differently.
"I am looking frustrated". So somebody somewhere decided that in a social situation you are not supposed to be frustrated.....that means your purpose cannot be defeated or ...is it that you are not supposed to SHOW your frustration?????
I am sick of hypocracy thats got in to this world. You can feel things but you are not supposed to say...you can feel things but you are not supposed to show.....reminds me of a ghazal
meri nazar sey na ho duur ek pal key liye
tera wajood hai laazim meri ghazal ke liye
sada jiye yeh mera shaher bemisaal jahan
hazaar jhopaden girtey hain ek mahal ke liye
qateel jakhm sahuun aur muskurata rahoon
baney hain daayre kya kya merey amal ke liye
For those with weak urdu....donot move away from my sight even for a second, because your presence is necessary for me to write a ghazal.....long live this city of mine where thousands of poor people lose their homes to make place for a palace...and the last line says...that i should keep on smiling even if i bear injuries, such are the rules that have been made for me to follow.
right now whatever problems i have are based in just one thing. I have decided to lead my life in a way that makes me feel proud of myself. That makes me true to myself...where i donot have to hide from my self or feel ashamed when i look in to the mirror.
Some how i have picked many things mainly thoughts from the movies. This line of thought came from the movie "ghulaam". In which aamir khan is desperately trying to save this chap who is acting against the wishes of the ganglord and so is in danger. After repeated question as to why doesn't the chap accept the situation and behave as everyone does, why is he intent on fighting and losing his life, the answer comes back "i am doing whatever i am doing so that when i get up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror, i donot feel ashamed".
Similar things have always attracted me. Like in the book "to sir with love" by braithwaithe, the teacher says "toughness is a quality of mind". Toughness is not shown by long hair and scruffy boots but by your actions. And again in "ghulaam" the hero says"my father used to say that any one can swim with the tide, but the one who can swim against the tide is stronger"
And some where i decided that whenever life will present me with a "right path and an easy path"(yeah, harry potter) i will pick the right path. Because if the path is tough and you lose, then you were not good enough and not fit to deserve. Because first "deserve and then desire"(my friend's father says it to her).
If i win then i won and will come out lot tougher than when i got in.
And any way if i win just because i chose the easy way out, i will may be smart in the eyes of the world, but i will still be nothing in my own eyes. Can you ever feel proud of the score if you get it by cheating?
Hmmm.....so you are saying"dude what are you, mad or something? don't you know that times have changed? you are talking like a philosopher. All that was relevant 50 years ago, not now. Wake up."
And i am thinking...oh...so that's how you have convinced your conscience...Because i know that no parent teaches their child to cheat. But people cheat anyways.
Such people were there always. Today we consider freedom fighters as smart. When they were fighting and freedom was not in sight, they were considered fools. Then also people used to wake up and laugh at them and go back to sleep. When freedom came, all were benefitted. Did anyone come out and say that no...i won't live in a free country because i didnot work for it. People who were in british beaurocracy shifted to indian beaurocracy over night and became loyal.
Ha...so these were the smart people, weren't they? always with the tide. Then where do people like me go? drown.
Read these by Bertrand Russel, i endorse and completely believe in each of these sentences words and letters.(if you haven't heard of him..then...well...sorry for being rude...but get off this page...you have no job over here reading this stuff)
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.
Bertrand Russell
I believe in using words, not fists. I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on the street. I believe in honesty. I believe in a good time. I believe in good food. I believe in sex.
Bertrand Russell
I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine.
Bertrand Russell
Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.
Bertrand Russell
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
Bertrand Russell
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
Bertrand Russell
Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
Bertrand Russell
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.
Bertrand Russell
Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Bertrand Russell
Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
Bertrand Russell
Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.
Bertrand Russell
Next to enjoying ourselves, the next greatest pleasure consists in preventing others from enjoying themselves, or, more generally, in the acquisition of power.
Bertrand Russell
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell
One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
Bertrand Russell
Right discipline consists, not in external compulsion, but in the habits of mind which lead spontaneously to desirable rather than undesirable activities.
Bertrand Russell
Sin is geographical.
Bertrand Russell
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
Bertrand Russell
The degree of one's emotions varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts.
Bertrand Russell
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd.
Bertrand Russell
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Bertrand Russell
There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.
Bertrand Russell
few quotes by other......all of them "negative" which is such a sin nowdays.....
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. (George Bernard Shaw)
Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress. (Thomas Edison)
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
And now some quotes on CYNICISM
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset.
Author:
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
(ambrose bierce)
A cynic can chill and dishearten with a single word.
Author:
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
Author:
"I am looking frustrated". So somebody somewhere decided that in a social situation you are not supposed to be frustrated.....that means your purpose cannot be defeated or ...is it that you are not supposed to SHOW your frustration?????
I am sick of hypocracy thats got in to this world. You can feel things but you are not supposed to say...you can feel things but you are not supposed to show.....reminds me of a ghazal
meri nazar sey na ho duur ek pal key liye
tera wajood hai laazim meri ghazal ke liye
sada jiye yeh mera shaher bemisaal jahan
hazaar jhopaden girtey hain ek mahal ke liye
qateel jakhm sahuun aur muskurata rahoon
baney hain daayre kya kya merey amal ke liye
For those with weak urdu....donot move away from my sight even for a second, because your presence is necessary for me to write a ghazal.....long live this city of mine where thousands of poor people lose their homes to make place for a palace...and the last line says...that i should keep on smiling even if i bear injuries, such are the rules that have been made for me to follow.
right now whatever problems i have are based in just one thing. I have decided to lead my life in a way that makes me feel proud of myself. That makes me true to myself...where i donot have to hide from my self or feel ashamed when i look in to the mirror.
Some how i have picked many things mainly thoughts from the movies. This line of thought came from the movie "ghulaam". In which aamir khan is desperately trying to save this chap who is acting against the wishes of the ganglord and so is in danger. After repeated question as to why doesn't the chap accept the situation and behave as everyone does, why is he intent on fighting and losing his life, the answer comes back "i am doing whatever i am doing so that when i get up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror, i donot feel ashamed".
Similar things have always attracted me. Like in the book "to sir with love" by braithwaithe, the teacher says "toughness is a quality of mind". Toughness is not shown by long hair and scruffy boots but by your actions. And again in "ghulaam" the hero says"my father used to say that any one can swim with the tide, but the one who can swim against the tide is stronger"
And some where i decided that whenever life will present me with a "right path and an easy path"(yeah, harry potter) i will pick the right path. Because if the path is tough and you lose, then you were not good enough and not fit to deserve. Because first "deserve and then desire"(my friend's father says it to her).
If i win then i won and will come out lot tougher than when i got in.
And any way if i win just because i chose the easy way out, i will may be smart in the eyes of the world, but i will still be nothing in my own eyes. Can you ever feel proud of the score if you get it by cheating?
Hmmm.....so you are saying"dude what are you, mad or something? don't you know that times have changed? you are talking like a philosopher. All that was relevant 50 years ago, not now. Wake up."
And i am thinking...oh...so that's how you have convinced your conscience...Because i know that no parent teaches their child to cheat. But people cheat anyways.
Such people were there always. Today we consider freedom fighters as smart. When they were fighting and freedom was not in sight, they were considered fools. Then also people used to wake up and laugh at them and go back to sleep. When freedom came, all were benefitted. Did anyone come out and say that no...i won't live in a free country because i didnot work for it. People who were in british beaurocracy shifted to indian beaurocracy over night and became loyal.
Ha...so these were the smart people, weren't they? always with the tide. Then where do people like me go? drown.
Read these by Bertrand Russel, i endorse and completely believe in each of these sentences words and letters.(if you haven't heard of him..then...well...sorry for being rude...but get off this page...you have no job over here reading this stuff)
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.
Bertrand Russell
I believe in using words, not fists. I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on the street. I believe in honesty. I believe in a good time. I believe in good food. I believe in sex.
Bertrand Russell
I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine.
Bertrand Russell
Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.
Bertrand Russell
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
Bertrand Russell
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
Bertrand Russell
Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
Bertrand Russell
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.
Bertrand Russell
Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Bertrand Russell
Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
Bertrand Russell
Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.
Bertrand Russell
Next to enjoying ourselves, the next greatest pleasure consists in preventing others from enjoying themselves, or, more generally, in the acquisition of power.
Bertrand Russell
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell
One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
Bertrand Russell
Right discipline consists, not in external compulsion, but in the habits of mind which lead spontaneously to desirable rather than undesirable activities.
Bertrand Russell
Sin is geographical.
Bertrand Russell
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
Bertrand Russell
The degree of one's emotions varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts.
Bertrand Russell
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd.
Bertrand Russell
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Bertrand Russell
There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.
Bertrand Russell
few quotes by other......all of them "negative" which is such a sin nowdays.....
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. (George Bernard Shaw)
Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress. (Thomas Edison)
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
And now some quotes on CYNICISM
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset.
Author:
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
(ambrose bierce)
A cynic can chill and dishearten with a single word.
Author:
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
Author:
- The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.Jean Rostand (1894 - 1977), Journal of a Character, 1931
- Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.Lillian Hellman (1905 - 1984), The Little Foxes, 1939
Because within me i live with me.People may not know what i did or do, but i know. Because i have decide to say what i believe in and do what i believe in.
I am not one of those who can commit murder and then go out in the world pretending to be a saint. Because it will show.....because I know what i did.
But here people are good at it. They have an inborn skill. I haven't met a person who thinks he is ashamed of himself, or he is wrong.And i am paying the price. Because while i am fighting andbeing targeted...time is running by. I am just afraid that after 10 years i may find that how foolish i had been. Just pay attention to the following lines from the song "aaina mujh sey meri pehli si soorat maangey".
main bhatakta hi raha dard key veeraney mey
waqt likhta raha chehrey pey har pal ka hisaab
meri shohrat meri deevangi ki nazar hui
pee gayi may ki botal merey geeton ki kitaab
aaj lauta hoon to hansne ki ada bhool gaya
yeh shaher bhoola mujhey main bhi isey bhool gaya
mera fan phir mujhey baazar mey le aaya hai
yeh woh jehan hai ke jahan mehro wafa biktey hain
baap biktey hain aur lakhtey zigar biktey
kokh bikti hain dil biktey hain sar biktey hai
iis badalti hui duniy ka khuda koi nahi
sastey daamon mey har roz khuda bikhtey hain
and faiz has even been even more proper in "nisaar main teri galiyo pey ae watan"
nisaar main terii galiyon pe ae watan, ki jahaan
chalii hai rasm ki koii na sar uthaa ke chale
hai ahl-e-dil ke liye ab ye nazm-e-bast-o-kushaad
ki sang-o-Khisht muqayyad hain aur sag aazaad
bahot hain zulm ke dast-e-bahaanaa-juu ke liye
jo chund ahl-e-junuun tere naam levaa hain
bane hain ahl-e-hawas muddaii bhii, munsif bhii
kise wakiil karen, kis se munsifii chaahen
yuun hii hameshaa ulajhatii rahii hai zulm se Khalq
na unakii rasm naii hai, na apanii riit naii
yuun hii hameshaa khilaaye hain hamane aag men phuul
na unakii haar naii hai na apanii jiit naii
isii sabab se falak kaa gilaa nahiin karate
tere firaaq men ham dil buraa nahiin karate
Gar aaj tujhase judaa hain to kal baham honge
ye raat bhar kii judaaii to koii baat nahiin
Gar aaj auj pe hai taala-e-raqiib to kyaa
ye chaar din kii Khudaaii to koii baat nahiin
jo tujhse ahd-e-wafa ustavar rakhate hain
ilaaj-e-gardish-e-lail-o-nihaar rakhate hain
meaning....i am smitten on the streets of this nation, where the new custom is that no one should walk with his head held high.
in this nation such poems are the only sanctuary for people who have a heart.Here the people who built the nation are confined like bricks and mortar while the dogs are free
there are many hands raised for opression.few who even take your name have out of greed become the self appointed judges as well as the litigants. In such a case whom do i ask to fight my case, whom do i ask to judge.
There always has been a fight between the opressor and the people. Neither is their habit new neither if our fight new.This is how we have flowered roses even in fire, and so neither is their loss new neither is our victory new.
That is why i donot have any complaints with the god, and i donot mind if i am seperated from you right now.
If i am seperated from you right now, tomorrow we will join. the seperation of these four days doesn't count much. If today the enemy seems to be powerful, so what, his being God for just a few days doesn't matter.
a person who has eternal love for you, keeps solutions to such problems and isn't disheartened easily.
signing off...turns out that this one of my worst posts so far.......
godspeed
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